dwim0rberg

Hiii-o. I am moving to a new old journal. Add me! :)
veilingofthesun

( DO THIS. ^_^ )

That was more fun than it should have been. :P

I went to see Dir En Grey on Friday with Mitch, and Melina was there too! It was good to see her. :) I'm SO GLAD I ended up going... It was a fucking excellent concert. The music, ahhh. <3 I adore live music. They didn't talk in between songs at all, which I really appreciate sometimes. It kept their essence intact, if that makes any sense. Kyo is an amazing performer. His voice can do so many things that it's ridiculous. Also he has beautiful arms and hands. I want to see them again, RIGHT NOW.

As far as school is going, I am fucked. Whatever, I just have one more week of class and then finals week. And then I can go HOME and not worry.

Uhhmm I want to get my hair cut. And I've been trying to think of something cool/different that I could try. Since my hair is completely dead at the ends, and also 'cause it's not as thick as it used to be, I want it shorter.
Anywho I was watching Kimura Kaela's video for "Happiness" on my iPod last night, and I love her hair!! ..But I dunno if it would look any good on me. I would have it a little longer, maybe, and also with maybe the bangs a teeny bit longer. I dunno thoughhh, it seems terrifying to get my hair cut short!! Reminds me of bad haircuts, haha.. Oh man.

Video es...



She is too adorable. I am kind of thinking I would not have the right look to pull it off.. Hm. So yeah, ..maybe I just want long (layered, choppy>??? I DO NOT KNOW HAIR TERMINOLOGY, DAMMIT) bangs and the rest of my hair layered a bit too. Idk idk idk.
Somebody who knows something about hair please help-a me. PLEASE.

Other news:
Tomorrow is Jen's birthday, how cute!... :3

I am procrastinating. :/ Fack.

Stolen from soviet_star! ^_^

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result as a comment in this post. Also, pass it along in your own journal because it's more amusing that way.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limbless_Skink
http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/31000.html
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ryanjlane/2962448310/

Will be hitting stores soon. Definitely. ;D

( Guess the song. )
Man, I listen to weird shit. :)

I am just getting over some really bad soreness.

(The kind that makes your legs spasm going down the stairs. And when you sit down you feel like your legs are going to detach at your sit bones. You know.)

Anyway, I've been invited to wake up at three in the morning next Saturday to hike in the Grand Canyon with Carmen. I have no problem with it, other than the fact that I don't want to hurt myself or get sore all over again. Hmmm.

I think I'm gonna go; Carmen called me a "kindred spirit." If you ever want me to do anything ridiculous (and you actually can't get me to do it), just make me feel special like that.

Anyway, really looking forward to that, I think. We're going to meditate on the rim and watch the sunrise and then hike a little bit into the canyon. Sounds good, eh? The weather should be wonderful!!

And now, I have photos to share with you guys!! From last weekend.

( Onward! )

Ahahahaa. Okay so, Sarah had her boy friend and three of her guy friends come over for the weekend. Good thing we have a good-sized room, or we'd all be wayyy too close for comfort. I kind of already felt like that when I woke up and almost accidentally stepped on the one who had decided to curl up next to my bed. Heheheee, they were all so cute though. I mean, it's fun to watch guys sleep. :3 Is that creepy? Whatever.

ALFKJKL!!
Going to grab something to eat with the Hen Master. BYES FOR NOW.

I'm feeling really down. =|
I'm not going to go into detail because I'm sure you all know what it's like to feel really fucking blue. Just ughhhh. Felt like I needed to say it somewhere.

Steep dormant cinder cone volcanoes are not very easy to climb.
Not very fucking easy at all. XD
But I love Geology Club. <3 So it all works out.
Doing laundry in college is awkward.
I said hi to this girl who was in there when I came to put my stuff in the washer, and she just stared at me. Haha, sheeeesh. Just being friendly.
Books are so fucking expensive. GAAAAH.
And I lost my hat when I went to SP Crater by the way. I just bought it seriously THE DAY BEFORE we went. Yezus. Not cool.
Know what is cool? SP stands for Shit Pot. Honestly, that's what it's called. Apparently that's what people thought it looked like.
I wish I could have made it to the top, dammit. Would have been really bitchin'.
I'll make up for it some other time though, when I'm in shape and don't feel dehydrated and am acclimatized completely to the higher elevation.
Yarrrr. I ramble.
I won a rock at the Geology Club meeting. From a raffle. Mhm.
Ugh. Some people in my life are getting really annoying lately.
-_-
I .. ugh, I don't want to gossip about it or bitch about it. But just, MAAAAAAN could you shut your mouth for ONE minute? That's all I ask. I'd like to walk into the room without having squeals and groans and laughter about how great you are just fucking thrown at me with no warning. I'd also like to be acknowledged. I listen to your bullshit, man! Listen to mine!!
And yeah, it's so wonderful that it's only two weeks into the semester and you've already found someone. Makes me feel really great too, when you keep talking about how cute it is. I kind of want to stab myself when you keep talking about how "cute" and how "in love" you guys are. For fucking serious. D<
Alright. Enough of rant.
It doesn't mean I hate her, seriously. I don't hate her.
I am just about to go insane. Thaaaat's all.
dslkfjakdsf
Let's see.
Hm. Lately I feel weirdly inadequate. I mean, when comparing myself to other girls. I guess that's obviously natural, because everybody gets like that. Right? But it's just like.. Gah. I feel so unimportant. Which I am. Don't get me wrong. I don't want people to worship me, but I'd like to be thought of as a cool person. Which I am, right? Right? Bleh. It sounds really ridiculous and cliche and fucking shallow to say this, but I wish I was beautiful or hot or something, you know?
Guh, that sounds so stupid, but I said it. That's obviously not the only thing I aspire to be in life.. It's just that there are so many amazing people that I've been around and.. they're smart and good-looking and they have a good sense of humor and they are like.. magnetic ! to me.
I dunno.
I guess I just want to be a better person.
I'm already changing a LOT. So that's good.
sd;klafjsf.
I should probably go see if my laundry is done drying.

Edit.
Well, FUCK. I just went into the laundry room and apparently the dryer that I fucking PAYED FOR only had nine minutes left on it because someone else took their laundry out early. And I was really confused because all of my clothes were on the table in there. And the guy that was in there before was just kind of standing there awkwardly. Hahaaaa, but yeah he wasn't the one who took my clothes out. And all the dryers were full. So now my clothes are all wet. Time to bust out the drying rack! Man. Fuck. Seriously, awkward. One of my bras was near the top of the pile. Sweeeeeet. -__-

Edit x2.
Seriously considering geology as a major. Still not sure but yeah.

I like it.

It's so beautiful here!

Well, wow. There's definitely some adjustments I need to make to fit into college life.

So far I have:

- taken 2 showers! (within the three days I have been here) I'm so proud of myself... community showers and everything!! it's not so bad ;D

- slammed my thumb in my footlocker

- slammed my index finger in the dorm fridge (like half an hour ago... it hurts)

- been to an awesome fucking FREE "welcome weekend" concert (reign of fire, authority zero, reel big fish) it was intense... I love touching people! I know that sounds really strange and uhh, wrong? but yeah, I love concerts because you get to be close and feel like you have something in common with the stranger next to you! (guess who is touch-starved? oh yes, me) anyway, it was SUCH a great show! I love dancing.

- been feeling lousy... I need to get use to the altitude or something, I dunno

- got my books

- ... FUCK! forgot to pay that overdue fee of -- get this -- one dollar. what the fuck kind of bullshit is that? a dollar? I owe them a damn dollar? xD

- been obnoxious

- cried

- probably lost a few pounds XD

- uhhhh dude so much more! I don't know. I can't think right now.

Classes start on MonnnnddaayyyY!! I'm so excited. x3
I am gonna make new friends and learn awesome new stuff and just in general be really really happy that I made the decision to go here. Seriously, it's so beautiful! From anywhere on campus you can see that ... mountain... I forget the name of it, dammit. Anyway, and on the way up here I realized that I'd forgotten that wildflowers exist. ..That's what the city does to you, I guess. Anyway, I love love love how beautiful it is here! And when it's nighttime, you can actually see stars! <3

Ahhh.
...midnight -- and I cruise along the highway...

I was going through clothes last night and I found my most *favorite* jacket EVER. It's been lost for only about a month but it made me feel so happy. I actually fell asleep with it, holding it like I dunno, you'd hold a cute little teddy bear. And before that, I seriously spent like half an hour just laying on my bedroom floor and ... smelling it. I'm sure it smells horrible to anyone else... It's a mixture of beer, cigar smoke, fish 'n' chips, and rain. I reak of Scotland. <3

Edit. Melina, if you still want that song, here is the Mediafire link again: click! AIM is so bitchy. >(
Edit x2. Our cat has an appointment this afternoon. You know, to be put to sleep... I feel like crying. :/ Sunny has been my buddy for like fourteen years of my life. ;_;

I didn't sleep last night at all.

I feel strangely happy right now... I'm gonna go have a bagel!
Bitchin'...

Arararagahhfahr.
I want to make a music video about the Nazgul.
That would be badass.

Anyway, back to that bagel...

I'm starting to panic about getting everything packed!
Holy crap holy crap holy craaap.
You know how in my last entry I talked about hating that everyone treats me like a baby? Yeah. Well, I feel like a baby now. D< I feel too young to be going to college! You know? I mean,.. I don't know what I mean, but I just feel unprepared. And that is obviously my own fault.
Every time I turn around and look at my room I want to scream, hahahaha. XD
I have one box of DVDs, one box of computer cords and manuals and software and stuff, and one box of a few of my shirts and pants and my scarf. Yikesssss. I need to start getting stuff done.
Hehee, I am getting overdue birthday gifts -- that's nice!! I got a $25 gift card to Bed Bath & Beyond from my aunt and uncle. Bitchin'... someone will have to accompany me there to help me pick out something cool. Although I don't know how much room I'm going to have for "something cool" in that dorm. With two other people... I hope it's bigger than the other ones! I hope they have enough beds. I hope

GAAAHhhHH. I need to stop. Okay. I'm good.

Happy news: I bought first season of Metalocalypse (hahah, yeah, I officially hate myself now xP), I got TTT extended edition a couple days ago, and I went shopping and actually GOT STUFF. :D

Uhhhhh.
I'm still really stressed out though, even though I have time to pack and stuff.

... I can has chill pill plz?

WHY DOES EVERYONE TREAT ME LIKE I AM FIVE!?
Stupid manager person of the caretaker-to-be person.

"Caitlin? Can I have you come here and sign something for your brothers?"

"Mhm."

"It's because they can't sign it themselves."

Yeah, I know. "Mhm."

"Just sign right here where it says client."

*signs* *kind of messes up a teeny bit*

"Great job!"

-_-

"Now just oonnneee more for you to do, okay?!"

"Mmkay."

"Here you go. Now this one. Sign where it says client."

SDkfjlaksiojlejslkjcesklfjLKSDF

"Perfect!! Thank you so much!!!!!"

I know it doesn't sound bad when I type it out but she just uses that overly sugary tone of voice. GRRR. Why does everybody treat me like I'm a baby?!

WAaaaaaaHHHHHH ;_____;
*is a baby*

Edit. I'm a happy camper because I just bought The Two Towers extended edition on Amazon annndd it was only $20~! I expected it to be a lot more than that. Anyway now I will FINALLY have all three extended editions. I can't believe that took so long.

We have to put my cat Sunset to sleep pretty soon. =(
That's depressing. I <3 Bo.

I'm starting over. I'm going to change. I'm not going to be hung up over people who don't care about me, I'm not going to get depressed all the time, I'm not going to take shit from anyone, I'm not going to put everything I have into people like they're my only chance of survival and I can't live without them. Essentially, I'm not going to be a doormat. I'm not gonna run to people, I'm not gonna cry about people, I'm not going to think about certain people nonstop, because it's not healthy. I am completely serious about all of this. Starting over is a good feeling. It's like saying fuck you to the entire world. And sometimes that's what you need to say when you can't tell anyone about your personal problems and the shit that goes on in your home and in your head. Especially when nobody realizes it, and if you were to tell anyone, you'd seem like you were begging for attention. Instead of letting one person know how weak you are, let the whole world know that they can suck it. That's pretty much all I have to say.

Edit. This doesn't affect the ability to love unconditionally, just FYI.
:)

I have two roommates? =| I don't get it.

Also. My mouse squeaks every single fucking time I click ANYTHING. I feel like I am going to go out of my mind. ARGGHH.

It seems as though I've been neglecting all the things that need to be done before I go to college. Which is ridiculous, because this really shouldn't be that big a deal. I mean, the whole thing about easing in to a new lifestyle is important, ja, and that should be a big deal. But the fact that I still don't even have my ID is really bothering me. It's like a little twicktch in the back of my mind that won't go away. It's like... Something is telling me GET THIS DONE BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE. And a lot of things are doing that little twicktch. And as a result, I've done pretty much nothing to start packing my stuff or organizing anything. I dunno how to start though...

Edit. I wish I knew how to read/speak Russian so that I could understand about half the random entries I find on LJ. x)
Edit x2. I wish I could speak Hungarian, so I could understand what they are saying in this song I'm listening to.
Edit x3. I think it's safe to say that I would like to learn every language there is. <3
No more edits, sorry.

*triumphant music*

CAITLIN + MUSIC
Part I
Bands of Special Significance (2003ish -- summer '08)

*DISCLAIMER*
These are not necessarily my favorite bands. They're just bands of special significance, as the title states, meaning that they led me to other bands that I love. Seriously though, these aren't even half of the bands that I consider to be a huge influence on my life. I just got lazy when it came to writing it all out. ANYWAY.

1. The Beatles. I'm not into them like I was, but they were the first band I actually followed. Unlike Britney Spears and The Backstreet Boys, I saw that their music was something more than stories of when this guy liked this girl. I bought several of their albums and memorized those songs because that was the only real music that I knew at the time. I think that my Beatles obsession began in 8th grade when Jen burned my first Beatles CD for me. I remember it very clearly. She gave it to me when we were in the locker room getting ready for P.E. and it was in blue and red and black sharpie. :) I was a late bloomer in music, as in so many other (NON-PHYSICAL Dx) areas of my life. So I'm pretty sure I'd be nowhere near as appreciative of music as I am now if it hadn't been for that CD.

2. Designated Johnny. I don't even remember much of this band's music, but what I do remember was that it paved the way for me and my friends. Because of Designated Johnny, we fell face-first in love with ska. And that meant a lot, but I don't know how to sum it up in words. It was even better than the feeling of newness I got from The Beatles. The social backdrop of the music was also really refreshing. Unite! :D

3. The Clash. After not having been exposed to much of anything other than the Beatles and a minimal amount of ska for almost three years, I discovered the beauty of The Clash. Before the beginning of my sophomore year in high school, I had never known that punk could branch out into so many different wings of music and still be amazing, and somehow still retain that original feeling of punk. I was overwhelmed, to say the least. I still don't know how to explain how enamored I was. Joe Strummer is my hero.

4. The Misfits. Later in my sophomore year, I began to get into even more punk stuff. Now that I look back on that phase, I'm SO GLAD that I understood what punk wasn't. I didn't know much about it, but I knew that Good Charlotte and Simple Plan were not punk. Since everybody seems to love The Misfits, it only makes sense that I tried them out. I once again went through a phase in which I listened to nothing but a certain band. Listening to The Misfits was a bit shocking to me. I had never been exposed to an excessive amount of the "f-word" and I didn't want to think about half the things that The Misfits sang about. The darkness of their stuff was obviously pretty mellow compared to other music out there, but it was new to me. After a while I learned to embrace it as it was. I had to do that to a lot of things in my life starting in high school. I don't think I became desensitized, even though that's what it sounds like. I believe I just became more zen. Horrorpunk = zen? Yes, yes it does.

( There's plenty more where that came from! ONWARD! )

Sorry about the walls of text. And sorry if this made me seem like I was bragging or being stupid or something. I'm just totally bored. >.<
Hopefully I'll be adding more to this music history of Caitlin crap. Next installment: METALLLLLLLLLL
(Yes, it needs its own section.)
I wish that other people would make an entry like this too. *nudgewink* It'd be fun to read about bands you're influenced by and whatnot.

P.S.
I found a word I love. Intelligentsia. Don't you love the way it rolls off your tongue?
P.P.S.
I was just thinking... It would be very difficult to write a dictionary. That's all.

It's actually very beautiful. My parents don't think so; every time they come into my room they get all fussy about it. It's just a desk. A beautiful big desk with tons of awesome shit on it. :)

There's a computer monitor, but no keyboard for it. It actually hasn't been hooked up to anything for ... I'm gonna say about a year, probably more. My laptop is in front of the older monitor. It's kinda funny lookin' actually. Old speakers, old printer. An awesome Han Solo model/bust thing sits atop the left speaker. The printer no longer serves as anything except a place to put my assortment of incense. Two cylindrical tube things of incense (blue sticks in one and purple sticks in the other), one triangular-prism-like cardboard incense box ("REFLECT - Jasmine & Juniper"), deep purple sticks just laying around (got those when I went to the Grand Canyon with my dad and Sarah and Gordon), other sticks also just sitting wherever they want, and last but not least, a rectangular container separated into six sections with different types of cone incense. A long walk across the desk from Incense HQ is a brown marble incense box/holder thing. When you close the lid, the smoke goes up through the pretty openings in the top and as the stick burns out, you can see the smoke moving down the openings. I really should clean out all the incense remnants that are in there... Will I? No. Anyway, next to the box is the trust lighter. The long kind that are less dangerous. Because believe me, I would have burnt myself so many times if I'd used a little pocket lighter.

Ah. There was something I missed! Right in between the printer and the left speaker. There's a posing wooden person (for help with sketching/anatomy; not that I do any of that), an old-looking book I stole from my dad called Berlin Diary by William L. Shirer, and a silver clock in the shape of a phone booth with the time stuck at 7:08. It's special because Sarah gave it to me the first time I went over to England. Next to the book, propped up on a rather cool layered picture frame that I have yet to fill up with cool pictures, is a pink cotton ball and pipe cleaner shark with a droopy dorsal fin. My graduation medal thing happens to be sitting in front of the picture frame.

To the left of the printer, things start to get murky. We vanish into the land of too many books stacked on top of each other. The whole area just looks very, very scatterbrained. But first: mini zen water garden & mini regular zen garden, Disney princess tiara from Jen's birthday, package of bobby pins, the lid to a box that doesn't seem to be anywhere nearby. Propped up behind all of the books there's a big neon-pink sign that my Aunt Mindy made for graduation that says "Congrats Caitlin 2008" with lots of purple stars. It is rather beat up and the edges are curling because Mindy and Kim B. used it to shield themselves from the rain. From what I can see from here, a few of the books that are stacked up are: The Color of Magic, The Two Towers, The Return of the King, a compilation of American poetry, a few Harry Potter books, Les Miserables (THE BRICK!), Angels & Demons, Dharma Punx, The Languages of Tolkien's Middle-Earth, Fingerprints of the Gods, America: The Book, a Star Wars cookbook, The Crucible, The Odyssey, The Fellowship of the Ring, Eat Pray Love, The Children of Hurin, a LotR book on Tolkien-esque weapons and warfare, a tiny cheap book about the Yucatan, Disney Princess Make-Believe Bride, three books of poems by Sylvia Plath, The Mists of Avalon, a book with tips for meditation, Dracula, and The Complete Illustrated World Encyclopedia or Archaeology. HA HA! There's more; I left out all the manga. Two volumes of Pita-ten, four volumes of Kenshin, one volume of Magic Knight Rayearth. And borrowed manga from Melina: volume 4 of The Wallflower, two volumes of Il Gatto sul G. I'm sure there's a bunch more buried underneath everything.

Two empty green tea bottles, three empty water bottles. I feel like I'm killing the environment. A toy katana with lime green sheath/cover thing, a beautiful red parasol, red kimono...parts that I can't remember the name of D:, two personalized fans, one pretty black fan -- all from Matsuri. A thing of nasty dried-out Flarp, a blue box with reflexology flashcards in it, birthday cards, empty CD case, stacks of case-less CDs, my iPod (whose name is Wobuffett), healthy balls from Chinatown from Julie, cords for my iPod, webcam, camera, and wireless mouse.

The bottle of cheap white wine (that was a complete dud) that I drank when I was hanging out on the Eiffel Tower. Pokemon cards, pens and pencils in an old jelly jar, my first piggy bank (except it's a cube and not a pig), a bra O;, leg warmers, two pinewood derby cars, watergun, dry erase markers, contact solution, contacts, adorable sheep magnet thing (*squeeeeal*), camera case, camera, two sets of broken headphones (because I ran them over with my chair -_-), purple baby stapler. A small set of drawers. Top drawer = gluestick, battery, dice, Spongebob Gameboy game, rubber band, "Ministry Are Morons" button (made by Jen). Middle drawer = four blank CDs, my Lucky Luciano power point presentation, three batteries. Bottom drawer = three stickynote pads, the receipt from when I paid my graduation fee.

A pretty red box that I keep all of my money and stuff like that inside of, book 2 of Avatar, Gamecube games, seashell necklaces wrapped around a purple glittery lava lamp, decorative takeout box where I keep receipt and tickets and giftcards. A green disposable camera, the manual for my camera, a weird dark tan purse, scissors with a built-in seam ripper, an iTunes giftcard, one of my plaid coverse (where is the other one...?), a gargoyle pen, a hairclip thing I got in Paris, "soothing" lotion, a blue comb (tehee, it's got a bluetooth! xP), a very basic calculator, a TV remote that does not work, my new cellphone, a cool black hat, and a tartan scarf from Scotland. <3

There's obviously more than that, but I'm pretty sure I've bored you into a stupor by now.
This was kinda fun though. For me, at least. XD Even if it did just turn into me listing a bunch of stuff...
Other people should do this too! *nudge* I wanna know what's on your guys' desks or whatever. :)